Moving On
by TachibanaEri
Summary: Lettie never thought this would happen; still in love with him even though he'd been married to her sister for months. How is she ever going to get over him?
1. Breaking

Lettie Hatter sighed, closing the door quietly behind her. Yet again, he just wasn't the right one. _Why were they always not quite the right one_, she asked herself, then quickly rerouted her train of thought when she saw where it was heading. She sat down on the edge of the small, iron-framed bed and set down the candle she had carried with her from the front door, the one Sophie always left lit when Lettie was going to be out late. Sophie was really too sweet for words. But it bored Lettie to tears, being stuck here in this nest of marital bliss and security. That sort of thing was only appealing when it was _your_ bliss and security. In all other cases it was simply nauseating.

Lettie fell back onto her pillow, wrapping one hand around it and tucking the other under her side. She fell slowly into a deep, dreamless sleep, not even remembering to take her shoes and hat off first.

In the morning she regretted it, as her hat was mangled and smashed and the end of her bed had clods of dirt from her shoes stuck on the bedspread. Some sister she was, just making more work for her dear, sweet Sophie and then running about during the day trying to find happiness that just didn't seem to be there. But rather than wallow, Lettie drank several large cups of coffee, braced herself for a convivial breakfast, and raced out into the city to work and dull her ache with the hurried, crazy busyness of thousands of people, all trying to ignore and eradicate the pain of loneliness.

Lettie sighed over her work that morning in the bakery, sighed over her lunch break, sighed despite the crowds of men vying for her attention, and sighed some more on her walk home that evening. As her footsteps took her nearer and nearer to the door of the home where she was currently staying with Howl and Sophie, Lettie's heart began to fail her and she didn't think she could face another dinner with the two of them. If she had to watch another four moony eyes staring at each other over the small wooden table she was sure she'd take a knife from the kitchen and end it then and there.

So, yet again, she found herself wandering away from home, taking care to stay out of sights of the windows of the small hat shop and the apartment over it. She wasn't sure if she was more afraid of them seeing her fleeing, or of spotting the two of them inside, lovey-dovey and cow-eyed. Lettie walked more quickly, thinking about the way Howl leaned over Sophie, enveloping her in his tall, lean form, swallowing her up in a mass of black and white hair. A shiver went down her spine and she found herself running again, running away from them and from the truth she could never admit to her beloved, generous, sweet-tempered sister.

_I can't believe I'm still in love with Howl_.

Lettie wrenched her thoughts from remembering him on their wedding day, standing next to her in that suit, with his cloak still thrown over his shoulders in the jaunty, cocky manner that seemed to stick to him like a shadow. She remembered the way he smelled; fresh and spicy, with a hint of dark mystery. It was hard not to notice his smell, with only the bride standing between the groom and the maid of honor. _Only the bride, standing between us,_ Lettie thought. _That's pretty much exactly how it is_. If it hadn't been for Sophie, maybe he would have kept coming to the bakery. Maybe he would have kept asking for one of Lettie's pastries. Maybe...

But it was all too late for maybe. They'd been married six months now, and Sophie had just announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Their child. Not hers. She could be an aunt to it, a friend, but never a mother. She would never be a mother to Howl's child. Lettie shivered again, and pushed herself to keep moving. Somewhere, anywhere far away from that house, that house with so much bliss that would never belong to her.

When she reached the end of the lane, Lettie began to run and run and run, her legs whispering through the fabric of her heavy skirt, her hair coming undone in tufts and kissing her wet cheeks. She ran and ran, head down, feeling the still night air whistling past her ears and chilling her bare arms. She ran until she ran into something, someone, with a thud.

"Oh! Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there! Oh, are you alright?" Lettie couldn't quite make out a face in the dark, quiet street, just a tall figure.

"Are you alright," a gentle, familiar voice said. Lettie's heart was in her throat as Howl reached one of his hands out to her and touched the side of her face, brushing golden hair behind her ear. "I was out here looking for you. Where were you going in such a hurry? Sophie was getting worried about you, with you staying out so late almost every night." He paused, and Lettie wondered if she'd ever be able to breathe again. "What's the matter," Howl asked, when Lettie didn't reply. "Your cheeks-"

Lettie reached her hands up quickly and wiped her face with a kerchief. "Nothing, nothing. I was lost." Somehow, it seemed partially true. "I was lost and confused, and then I got scared and upset. I'm fine now, really. Thank you." She smiled up at him, though of course it was lost in the blackness of the late hour.

"Alright," Howl said, though he sounded doubtful of the sincerity of her response. "Well, let's get back to Sophie then." Lettie's heart screamed, but she simply tightened her lips into an even less believable smile and followed him, her heart sinking deeper and deeper with every second. Heavy drops of tears fell silently from her lashes, peppering her shoes and the ground, but she held back the sobs, willing them to go away before they got back to the house.

They were turning onto the block now. Oh, god, they were heading up the street. Lettie's eyes filled up so she could hardly see where she was going, even with the dim glow of a streetlamp before them. She hiccoughed suddenly with the effort of holding back sobs, and stumbled against Howl. She wanted to say sorry, but knew her voice would give her away if she did.

"Are you okay," Howl asked, his voice soft and low. Lettie nodded, but kept her head low and her face pointing down. She thought he'd moved on ahead of her. But then his fingers grabbed hold of her chin and her face was suddenly vulnerable in the light of the lamp and his gaze. "You're not okay," he said, protesting quietly. A look crossed his face, a look Lettie didn't have time to interpret before she looked away. Closing her eyes and willing herself to be sucked up into the earth and just die.

"It's my fault, isn't it," he said suddenly, dropping her face and turning away from the house. "You're still in love with me. You can't stand living with us, can you? Oh my god, Lettie, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize...I didn't think it would hurt this much for you." He leaned forward suddenly and wrapped her up in a hug.

Lettie flinched at the contact at first, and grew stiff, but then softened and melted into the warmth of his cape and his body and that beating heart, that warm beating heart...

The heart that Sophie had given back to him, and that Sophie had. She, Lettie, had no right to it. "I- I'm sorry. We should get back," Lettie said stiffly.

Howl looked down at her and said, "All those times at the bakery, teasing you and flirting with you...I didn't realize that I was making you fall for me so hard. Sophie always did tell me I was a heart-eating philanderer." He wiped the tears that were now flowing freely down her cheeks and kissed her gently on the forehead. Lettie gasped softly, and Howl pulled back like he'd burned her.

"Let's just go home," she said weakly. _I guess I'll find somewhere else to stay in the morning_.

Howl turned around slowly, took Lettie's arm in his, and walked her carefully up the rest of the street. She appreciated the gesture, but feeling his body that close to hers was at once glorious and excruciating. She wished that they had ten miles still to go to get home, and then wished they were already there, and then wished she never met him, and then wished Sophie had never been born, and then wished she herself had never been born.

_I hate you, Howl. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you confuse me and set me on fire. I hate that I ever met you. I hate how much I love you. I hate you_. Lettie repeated this over and over in her mind, steeling herself in case Sophie was still up when they walked through the door. She said it some more when she was alone in her room, when she heard them whispering softly through the cracks in the floor, when she was laying in bed trying to sleep.

_Howl..._


	2. Moving

It took more than just the next morning to find a place, but find one she did. Lettie moved in with one of the guys from the bakery and his wife, who was also pregnant. It seemed babies were impossible to avoid these days.

It took only the work of one afternoon to move Lettie's things from Sophie and Howl's place to Clive and Amelie's place. Lettie chose an afternoon when Howl was away on business with the king, pretending it was her only afternoon off to Sophie and Howl. In reality she begged the head baker to give her the time off. Sophie helped as best she could, as did Amelie, although Lettie found it rather humorous, the attempts of two very pregnant women to move boxes and furniture. Markl did his best too, and he was slightly more helpful since he'd just hit puberty and had shot up like a bullet from a starting pistol. On the other hand, he was still getting used to his new-found height and found his knees and elbows banging into everything, and dropping almost as much.

Lettie let out a loud, grateful sigh when she was finally alone in her new room. Boxes and bags of unpacked clothes and knick-knacks still littered the diminutive landscape, but it was home and there was no temptation lurking around corners or making out with her sister in the kitchen. Lettie shut her eyes, hoping to stop the images, and focused on getting unpacked. How on earth she would distract herself when that was done, she had no idea.

Somehow the afternoon passed, then the evening, and the next morning Lettie found herself waking up a little more refreshed and a little more hopeful than usual. Perhaps just being out of the house and away from him would cure her of this lovesick obsession.

Lettie trotted cheerfully down the stairs and helped herself to some breakfast. Clive was already at the bakery and Amelie was still resting in bed, so she was alone in the kitchen. _Ahh, alone_. Lettie hadn't had a real meal alone in such a long time. The peace and quiet was really quite restorative.

That is, of course, until she remembered that Howl liked his tea the same way she did, and his toast done just a little blacker than hers. Then suddenly she found herself bawling into the sugar bowl, making a mess of herself and her day before it had really even begun.

The next thing Lettie knew Amelie was sitting next to her, rubbing her back and holding her hand. "Oh, there, there, dear," she said sympathetically. She waited until Lettie's weeping had subsided some and said, "Now, dear, would you like to tell me what's going on? Like maybe the real reason why you were in such a rush to move in here?"

Lettie laid her head down on Amelie's shoulder and poured her heart out, sobbing in between short, breathless sentences. "And I don't know how I'm going to stay involved in my sister's life when I can't be around her husband. I mean, what kind of aunt will I be if I can't stop pining after him?" Lettie gave a final, helpless sob and shuddered, feeling weak, spent and empty. "I mean, I haven't even seen him in three days and I still keep hoping he'll walk through the door any second now. And I feel so guilty for wanting that, for wanting him like that. I just-" Lettie cried again, softly and silently this time.

Amelie continued to rub Lettie's back, her arms wrapped around the girl's shaking frame. After several moment's thought, she said, "You know, I don't think moving out was really the thing you needed." Lettie began to shake her head, but Amelie persisted. "No, hear me out. I think moving out isn't nearly enough. I think what you really need is a long vacation."

Lettie sat up and gaped at her. Amelie grinned conspiratorily back at her. "What," Lettie said, spluttering, "just spend all of my savings on a silly little trip?"

"Yes! Goodness gracious, yes! After all, if your alternative is to spend the rest of your life miserable for a man you can't have, well you might as well just throw your life away anyway. And if it doesn't work and you come back just as desperate anyway, well at least you tried something." Amelie looked at Lettie seriously now, all jesting aside. "You need this, Lettie. You need to find yourself again."

Lettie shook her head at the absurdity of the idea, but inside part of her was starting to believe in the idea. In fact, she was even starting to feel a tinge of hope, something she hadn't felt in...well, far too long. "But, my job-"

"Now, now, don't worry about the details," Amelie interrupted. "Clive and I will take care that there is always a place for you here. You just need to take care of you right now." Amelie's face softened as she said this last part, and she looked at Lettie with a motherly fondness and concern. "Do it," she whispered urgently, pressing her hand into Lettie's.

Lettie looked out the open kitchen window, to the hills and mountains rolling ever away from the city. She saw in her mind the wild wildnerness and the sea, the glittering sea. She heard the call of the gulls and the crashing of water against rocks and boats. She smelled the smell of grass, of forests, of hills and of rain. She remembered vaguely the days when she enjoyed these things, enjoyed life. She remembered for a moment herself. She took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Okay."

It took less than an instant for Amelie to convince Clive that evening to help them, and it seemed like just days later Lettie was standing in their living room, bags packed, trunks already at the train station, just waiting for the cab to arrive to whisk her away. She'd already said her goodbye's to Clive and Amelie and now they were standing around in that awkward way people do when they've already said all there is to say.

That was when Lettie heard a clattering outside and the next thing she knew Sophie's arms were around her neck and her lips were pressed to Lettie's cheek. "Do you have to go? What if you miss the baby's birth?" Sophie pressed Lettie's hand to her belly, pleading in her voice but resignation in her eyes. Lettie wondered briefly if Howl had told her, then turned her face away from her sister. "Okay," Sophie said softly. "Well, at least let me give you a hug and a proper farewell," Sophie insisted. She wrapped Lettie into a sisterly embrace and held her there for several long minutes.

"Oh!" Lettie said with surprise and pleasure. "Oh! Sophie, I think I just felt a kick!" Sophie laughed, and they placed their hands side-by-side on Sophie's belly. Just then a knock was heard on the door. "Oh, that's probably my cab," Lettie said, suddenly confused. "Well, I'll see you later then," she said awkwardly, giving her sister a peck on the cheek and waving at Clive and Amelie.

Lettie climbed quickly into the cab and waved out the window at the figures disappearing behind her as she said, "The train station please." The figure in front of her nodded, and they were on their way. Lettie leaned back in her seat, looking up at the blue and white speckled sky. It was the perfect day to be setting out on an adventure.

They arrived at the station with just a few minutes to spare, and Lettie climbed quickly out of the cab. "Thank you, what do I owe you?"

The driver stepped out of the cab to help her with her bags. "Nothing," came a familiar voice. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

Lettie's eyes filled with tears and a little anger. "How could you? How could you, when you knew why I was avoiding you? Well, I don't have time for this, so I'll just be going." She turned to go, but Howl caught her by the wrist.

"Please," he said, "let me just say goodbye. Then I'll leave you alone for as long as you want." He leaned in a kissed her gently on the lips, every bit as warm and sweet and tender as Lettie had ever imagined him to be. Then, when she opened her eyes, he was gone.

"Bastard."


	3. Running

That kiss, that one kiss, haunted Lettie for the entire first week of her trip. Every time she fell asleep, whether for an afternoon nap or for the night's slumber, his visage was before her and his lips were on hers again. Except that that was never enough, not in her dreams. She would wake up hot and guilty, remembering the ways he had touched her in her dream, and the way he had felt on top of her.

He'd no right to kiss her like that. What kind of self-centered asshole would think that kissing a girl would set her world right, not shatter it into a million pieces? He should not have done it. Lettie thought these things over and over to herself, thought about writing to Sophie or even to Howl, imagined herself responding to Howl with a vicious but satisfying slap, but none of it accomplished what she really wanted. None of it made the dreams stop.

But then, when Lettie changed trains she found a surprising solution to her problem. She was on her way to the dining car in the morning, her eyes blue and shadowed from weeks of poor sleep. She was trying to pull open one of the doors when she stumbled and fell into one of the other cars and nearly into the lap of an elderly gentleman who was busily folding several pairs of freshly ironed trousers.

"Oh! Oh, I do beg your pardon, sir. I don't know what is the matter with me these days. I was just trying to open up that door there, you see and-"

He cut her off with a tut-tut, helped her right herself and dust herself off, and cheerfully opened the door for her. "Now, not a word about it, it was just an accident. Perhaps I'll come to your table for lunch, and you can apologize again and I'll tell you it was nothing again. Now you look like a young lady who needs some breakfast, so get along now."

Lettie was delighted to find someone on the train who was kind to a clumsy and exhausted young woman, and was equally delighted to see him approaching her table at lunch time, dressed to the nines in an old-fashioned suit that fit perfectly around his rounded belly. "Hello young lady. Haven't gone stumbling into any more innocent gentlemen's rooms now, have we?" He winked at her as he said this, and Lettie laughed and gestured for him to sit down across from her.

After a bit of chit-chat and after several more apologies from Lettie, the gentlemen, who introduced himself as Humphrey, asked her the question she thought might be coming. "Why does a lovely young woman like yourself on vacation look so worn out and exhausted?"

Lettie gave him the first answer she thought of; "I'm having trouble sleeping lately. It's all to do with a rascally young man, if you know what I mean," she said with a meaningful scowl.

"Ah," he said with a look of understanding and a matching frown. "Well I have just the solution," he said. "I'll give you some after dinner," he added as the waiter approached them with a tray of delicious looking sandwiches.

Lettie wasn't sure what kind of crack-pot solution Humphrey was talking about until she was standing in his doorway and watched him pull out a bottle of large, white pills. "They're heavy stuff," he said in warning, "but if you have trouble sleeping, there's nothing better!"

Lettie accepted them warily, but later that night when she found herself avoiding sleep yet again, she downed them with a large glass of water. What the hell. It's not like they could make my life any worse than it already is, she thought grimly.

When Lettie awoke the next morning-groggily surfaced was more like it-she discovered with delight that she had no recollection at all of anything after she'd laid down in bed the night before. She carefully shared her delight with her traveling companion, who offered the name of his pharmacist and the name of the drug. "Best traveling aid I've ever discovered," he crowed, and Lettie couldn't help but agree.

They took lunch and dinner together for the rest of the train ride, and Lettie found herself going longer and longer without thinking of Howl, until one day she woke and realized that the day before, when she and Humphrey had spent the day poring over his stamp collection and old photographs, she hadn't thought of Howl all day. Of course, now she was thinking of him again, and broke her streak, but she felt buoyed by the thought that she could and had gone a whole day without any pining, moping, or mooning.  
>At least her friendship with Humphrey and his white pills got her to the seaside, where she and Humphrey parted ways. She said a fond farewell to him, with a parting hug and promises to look him up if she ever found herself in his hometown. When his carriage was out of sight she turned around to take in the view and found her breath caught in her throat.<p>

The sea stretched before her, broken by towering ships and crowded docks. Gulls wheeled and screeched in the sky overhead, and the smell of salt spray-mixed with the unfortunate smell of dead fish and many sweaty bodies-permeated the street. Lettie had never before been to the sea, and she already couldn't wait to be aboard and floating off into the wild, unbroken blue.

The ship didn't leave until the next morning, though, so in the mean time Lettie checked herself into a hotel and holed up in anticipation of the morning's adventure. She only had a couple of Humphrey's pills left, and was debating the necessity of taking one this evening. But then remembrances of the first night on the train began to surface in her mind and before Lettie knew what she was doing she'd swallowed a pill and was laying half-naked on her bed, dead to the world.

She was glad the next morning, though, when she saw the daunting crowds of people waiting to board the ship. There was no way she could have stood in lines half a mile long without something resembling a night's sleep. As it was, by the time Lettie found herself settled somewhat in her small cabin of the ship she was feeling utterly frazzled and ready to sleep for the rest of the year in her small bunk.

Instead, she hauled herself down to dinner on the main deck, an affair nearly as hectic as boarding had been, and sat silently through dinner at a large, crowded, and very loud table. She ate unnoticed and then excused herself and slunk back to her small room. Perhaps this voyage hadn't been such a good idea. Perhaps she would have been better off wasting away at home. Perhaps she should just jump off the boat.

No, Lettie said sharply to herself. No, tomorrow is a new day, and it won't be nearly so bad once the excitement dies down and everyone settles down. No, give it at least a day or two before giving in to the despair, she reasoned with herself before she took another pill and slipped back into oblivion.


	4. Falling

Lettie wasn't entirely sure where all of their stops were on the voyage, since it had been years since she'd had geography, but she looked excitedly at the horizon visible on every side from the highest deck of the ship. The next morning did seem to be much better than that first evening; perhaps now she'd be able to sleep at nights, with the sea and the wind to rock her to sleep.

Not that Lettie really believed this bit of optimism, but it helped to cheer her up in the afternoons and to get her through dinner on the unbelievably crowded main deck of the ship. She floated listlessly through the daily activities, feeling unseen and unseeing of everyone around her. The only joy she got out her days was in the morning, when she was still too groggy to be mopey, and she would climb up to the highest spot on the ship that she was allowed and sit with a small pair of binoculars. Sometimes she watched the birds, sometimes dolphins or whales, occasionally the horizon, but often she would just sit there, alone with the world, her mind a blank canvas for the sea and sky to imprint themselves on.

It was on one such morning, when Lettie was dozing in her canvas chair, a blanket wrapped around her to protect against the chill morning air, that she was awoken with a loud clattering and an oath. She nearly fell out of her chair, and jumped up to see what had happened.

A few feet away from her stood a young man who was smiling sheepishly at her. "Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I was just trying to enjoy the lovely morning air myself," he said, holding up a poorly assembled beach chair that had clearly not been able to withstand even his slender frame. "Justin, by the way," he said, and Lettie couldn't help but notice the way the wind blew his sandy hair around his face, and the way his freckles crinkled together when he smiled.

"Lettie," she replied. "Lettie Hatter. And it's a pleasure to meet you, Justin-By-The-Way." She put her hand out to shake his, but he just stood there for a moment gaping.

Eventually his mouth dropped open and he stuttered, "Not _the_ Lettie Hatter? Do you know a Sophie? Sophie Pendragon now I believe, Hatter as was."

Lettie pulled her hand back as if stung. The refrence to the Pendragons still gave her a pang. "Yes, I'm Sophie's sister. I don't believe I know you, though. Were you at the wedding?"

"Unfortunately not," he said, "though I should very much have liked to have been. I hear it was quite a grand affair. Although I doubt that was Sophie's doing. She always did like to keep things simple."

"Yes, I'm sure my sister wished it to have been much more casual," Lettie said uncomfortably. She quickly changed the subject before Justin had a chance to ask any more questions about the wedding or Howl and Sophie. "So what brings a...um...well, what brings you to a ship like this?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth Lettie regretted them, partly because she feared he would ask her the same question.

"Oh, well I'm not a wizard like Howl, if that's what you're thinking. Sophie really never mentioned me? I would have thought you would have heard about clumsy old turnip head once or twice."

"Oh!" said Lettie, her small mouth forming a perfect_ O _before she began laughing out loud. "Oh, dear, you're the prince are you? Oh, do forgive my manners, Your Highness." Lettie curtseyed deeply, then grinned when her hair all toppled into her face. Well at least now they had something to talk about other than you-know-who. "You will have to forgive my appearance this morning, sir. I had no idea we had royalty aboard."

"Well, I do generally prefer it that way, since one does have to put up with a lot of bowing, scraping, and sucking up if one travels as royalty. But since you are one of the famous Hatters I assume I can trust you. It's just Justin, please, unless we're in front of my father." He said this last bit with a wink and a nod. "Now, do you know anything about setting up these infernal chairs. Apparently their brilliant design eludes my finite brain."

Lettie couldn't help laughing a lot as the two of them attempted to fix the tangled mess he had managed to make of the chair. Eventually they managed to set it up, although it was mostly Lettie's doing. He was indeed quite hopeless when it came to practical matters. They sat on the deck that morning discussing the birds, the whales, the different places they were going to land at, and the unfortunate design of most furniture that was always just too complex for the clumsy. Lettie laughed more than she had in months that morning, but she was glad they kept the conversation light and casual.

Lettie was glad that evening to have found someone she could sit with at dinner. It was an easy matter to switch tables-Lettie doubted anyone even noticed her absence at the table from the night before. There was a time when she would have had everyone's eyes on her, but the sight of a woman wasting away was not one to attract the eyes of any but the most desperate or kind of people. Lettie had turned from the social butterfly to the wallflower, she knew this, but somehow she didn't really care any more.

The next morning Lettie was not surprised to see Justin on the deck waiting for her. This time he'd given up on the chair and just brought a picnic blanket that he'd spread out on the deck and was lounging on. Had he been someone else, like Howl, he probably would have looked sexy and mysterious, laying there on his side, looking up at the birds and laughing. Instead he looked just a little awkward, his limbs poking about at sharp angles and his chin jutting up with his mouth thrown open in a loud _guffaw_. _Not the most mysterious of men, Justin, _Lettie couldn't help think. _But surprisingly likeable._ As she climbed the last two steps to meet him, her mind whispered, _maybe even loveable?_

Lettie didn't even notice the whisper in her mind, not just yet, but skipped across the deck and plopped down next to Justin. "Good morning," she said cheerfully. The wind whipped her dress and hair thirteen different directions, and she was sure she looked just as awkward and out of place as Justin did, a thought she found oddly comforting.

The way he was looking at her though, for the first few seconds, seemed to imply that perhaps he didn't find her as awkward as she found herself. Lettie felt suddenly very warm, and turned to face into the breeze, hoping to cool her face and neck. Justin coughed, and let out a belated reply; "Good morning. You slept well?"

"Oh, umm...well, I don't usually, but last night, actually, I think I did." Lettie surprised by this. She hadn't really thought about it before now, but did she even take a sleeping pill last night? She couldn't quite remember, but she thought she might have forgotten to. Strange, she didn't remember having any dreams either.

"Well, I'm sorry you don't ordinarily sleep well. I've been having trouble sleeping lately myself. My father thinks it's all this travel, tries to make me take this pills." Justin made a face and Lettie laughed.

"Really? Because I've been taking them too. Except I can't remember if I took one last night or not. A nice gentleman I met gave me some of his."

"You took pills from a strange old man?" Justin said with mock horror. "They could have been rufies or something." Lettie resisted the urge to shove him good-naturedly and instead just made a face back at him. Justin laughed and Lettie relaxed back onto the blanket, staring up at the clouds. "A penny for your thoughts," Justin said.

"I think I'm worth a little more than a penny," Lettie said evasively. "Besides, how do I know you aren't just some strange young man?"

Justin looked seriously down at her. "Well, I suppose I am strange, and a young man. The question is, am I a strange young man who travels with rufies in his briefcase?" He tried to make a mysterious face, but simply set Lettie into a fit of giggles watching his face contort and contract.

Perhaps Lettie had found a friend. Perhaps this trip would turn out not to be a complete waste after all. Perhaps he could even help her find herself, whatever that meant. But watching the way the ocean breezes ruffled his air, his bemused smile as he tried to bat it out of his eyes, and the way his mouth turned up on one side when he saw her looking at him...well suddenly something in her felt warm in a way it hadn't for months.

"Seriously, though," he continued, "what are you thinking about?"

Lettie stared meditatively out at sea, then inclined her head gently as she looked at him. "I was thinking about hope. Is hope this warm feeling I have inside? Because if it is, well, I would just like to say thank you." She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

Justin turned his head and opened his mouth to say something, and both pairs of eyes opened wide with surprise when their lips met. He immediately colored, and Lettie looked away, unsure how to proceed after that. "Totally my fault," Justin said gallantly. "I should watch where I turn this head of mine."

"Or maybe you shouldn't," Lettie said quietly. She scooted nearer to him and nested her head on his shoulder. "After all, sometimes accidents are just fate's way of introducing herself."


End file.
